Face your fears. And write

Yesterday evening I was in front of my laptop, wondering. Well, I have those project. You know, a couple of ones are almost finished, the third is still on start, but it’s more ambitious (a new novel). Anyway, a lot of days has already passed and I was not able to convince myself to spend times fully devoted to those project. It seems, there is always something to do instead of writing. 

Because of the great fear. The fear that my writing is a loss of time.

The fear is so high, sometimes, that I prefer to actually loss time, checking my Facebook timeline or indulging in other not-so-productive activities, instead of writing.

Because of this. Because I do not want to face my fear.

Actually, it turns out that facing my fears could be the right thing to do.

Yes. Facing my fears. Which means, in this case, writing. Writing anyway, even if I think I’m not good enough, even if I fear that it can be a loss of time, even if I am sure that other people could make it better. Far better than me. They are only paralyzing statements that want to keep me from my best work.

So yesterday evening I forced myself to reopen one project, the project of a poetry book. And I discovered again, that wonderful thing. Namely, that going through my stuff, even if it’s imperfect, even if it’s naive in certain part – it makes me feel better. Again, I’m connected with the universe, I feel I’m doing what I’m here for.

Yes, strange to think, but it’s so. Even if I can severely judge my writing, nevertheless I haven’t the freedom to decide. I have to write. I have to overcome my fear and write (or better, I have to embrace my fears and write).

Let me write down it, since I constantly try to escape from this simple fact. I can feel fine only if I accept to write. If I do not accept it (with the excuses I listed above, plus others – I have plenty), nothing can fill the hole in my heart.

I can only think of a reason for this: I am not alive by chance, but for a reason (everybody is here for a reason, everybody has a task to do in order to make the universe more bright). One of the reasons I’m here is writing.

So I’m supposed to quit my (excellent) job and write all time?

No, I do not think so.

I think my duty is to write inside the circumstances that I experience around me. Circumstances are not casual, they are the way I have to grow. That’s what I learn from School of Community and it fully resonates in me (when I’m honest with myself).

So, if I’m called to be a scientist and a writer, a husband and a father, that’s what I have to do. Every tentative deviation from this path (compulsive food, drink, sex… should I mention all of them?) is a loss of time. While writing is never a loss of time, never.



Ok, iPhoto is a good program, no doubt. But when you must extract a single photo from your archive, for example to publish it on your blog, it turns out that it’s scarcely collaborative (to be fair…)

From my windows..


This is a sunny morning here in Rome, the air is fresh and I decided to take a picture from my bedroom windows. Here is it! After all, I’m lucky not to have any building in front of my room, but only trees and nature…  😉



Paris by Moyan_Brenn_BACK_FROM_ICELAND
Paris, a photo by Moyan_Brenn_BACK_FROM_ICELAND on Flickr.

Oh, I would like to visit Paris, again. I was there many year ago: I think it was in 1986. A lot of time has passed, but Paris is always in my heart.

He is waiting for me, I’m pretty sure…


Paganini for guitar

Paganini for guitar is a wonderful discover. The italian music can be so gently and simply beautiful… 😉



The nice thing of this WordPress theme is that it allows to post also brief “status message”, so that I can write in English without the fear of making too much errors (given that – with all probabilities – errors are proportional to the text length…)



trying to optimize this blog 🙂